Ovary Pangs

For many many years I declared myself a baby-free zone.

No way was I going to infect myself with a parasite that would suck away at the minerals and vitamins in my body, only to be pushed out nine months later with me panting and swearing and screaming.
No way was I going to give up my life of eating indulgent foods and drinking nice inexpensive wine to feed and clothe and indulge a child who would turn into a) a bitchy teenager who would tell me she hated at me every second day before jumping out her window to meet with friends in a park and pash boys I would not approve of  ... or b) a teenage boy who was stinky, never washed and only grunted at me when he wants something.

Clearly the idea repulsed me.  And then I married my husband.  All of a sudden I felt a dull throb about the ovary area.  I would see an olive skin, dark haired child with a cheeky personality and I'd think 'our baby would be like that'.  Then I'd think 'what are you on?  you don't want kids'.  But the fact is marriage ruined me.  It turned me into a wannabe mother.  And it introduced me to ovary pangs.

When a newborn passes me in the street (in it's pram of course) I just want to cuddle it.
When a toddler looks at me and gives me a grin I want to chat to her/him.
When a teenager has a 'meh' at their mum I want to give them an earful about respecting their parents.

And each time I feel an ovary pang.

Unfortunately these pangs cannot be killed by cuddling friends babies, they just make them worse.  There's only one thing for it.  To actually have your own.

Goodbye minerals.  Goodbye vitamins.  Hello pain.
Followed by (potentially) hello to years of love followed by years of 'i hate you's'.
Followed by years praying that they end up liking you enough not to put your in a second rate retirement village.

Do I really want to try and do this baby making lark?  *pang*  Yes I do.  

(PS.  If and when a baby arrives Quite Simply Kellie will remain a baby-post free zone, cause I stand by the notion that only parents think their kids are interesting, while the rest of the world do not.)