Saturday, March 26, 2011

Green is Evil ... so says I

I get paid monthly.
And every month I try and do a decent grocery shop so I don't have to go to the supermarket so often, as every time I go to the supermarket I magically spend $30 even if I'm going in to buy one thing.
So the theory clearly is, go once, buy lots, spend less over the course of the month.
The other theory is that I won't waste so much food by only going once (with a few additional trips for necessities like chocolate/soda water/plastic cheese).
Yep, the theory is that I will use all that food I bought up.  Not waste any of it.  
It's a good theory ...

But as I discovered this morning while clearing out my vege bin, I have an aversion to green food.  I'm 'greenist'.  And no matter how much I dream of eating all my veges and saving money some part of me just can't seem to eat green food.  Goodbye well intentioned silverbeet, see ya later health giving salad leaves, au revoir over ripe avos.  

So what have I learnt from this revelation?  I can save a good $15 a month at least by not buying green foods ... and I can instead spend it on my favourite 'c' foods.  As I'm 'c-ist' too.  Cheese ... chocolate ... chardonnay ... cheezels.  CHOICE!

Friday, March 25, 2011

Ovary Pangs

For many many years I declared myself a baby-free zone.

No way was I going to infect myself with a parasite that would suck away at the minerals and vitamins in my body, only to be pushed out nine months later with me panting and swearing and screaming.
No way was I going to give up my life of eating indulgent foods and drinking nice inexpensive wine to feed and clothe and indulge a child who would turn into a) a bitchy teenager who would tell me she hated at me every second day before jumping out her window to meet with friends in a park and pash boys I would not approve of  ... or b) a teenage boy who was stinky, never washed and only grunted at me when he wants something.

Clearly the idea repulsed me.  And then I married my husband.  All of a sudden I felt a dull throb about the ovary area.  I would see an olive skin, dark haired child with a cheeky personality and I'd think 'our baby would be like that'.  Then I'd think 'what are you on?  you don't want kids'.  But the fact is marriage ruined me.  It turned me into a wannabe mother.  And it introduced me to ovary pangs.

When a newborn passes me in the street (in it's pram of course) I just want to cuddle it.
When a toddler looks at me and gives me a grin I want to chat to her/him.
When a teenager has a 'meh' at their mum I want to give them an earful about respecting their parents.

And each time I feel an ovary pang.

Unfortunately these pangs cannot be killed by cuddling friends babies, they just make them worse.  There's only one thing for it.  To actually have your own.

Goodbye minerals.  Goodbye vitamins.  Hello pain.
Followed by (potentially) hello to years of love followed by years of 'i hate you's'.
Followed by years praying that they end up liking you enough not to put your in a second rate retirement village.

Do I really want to try and do this baby making lark?  *pang*  Yes I do.  

(PS.  If and when a baby arrives Quite Simply Kellie will remain a baby-post free zone, cause I stand by the notion that only parents think their kids are interesting, while the rest of the world do not.)

Monday, March 14, 2011

Monkie Kellie is the Coolest! ... actually two wee girls and my husband are.

One day at work one of my esteemed colleagues decided we ought to hold a You Tube competition.
The idea being we put in $5 each, then each make a You Tube video, upload it on the same day and one month later whoever's video has the most views wins the money we put in as our entry fee.

My idea came from a weekend in Pauanui where two wee girls were teasing my husband telling him "Monkey Kellie was the coolest" (Monkey Kellie being a name thrust upon me many moons ago).  So he decided to record them on his iPod.  Then one came out with a song out of nowhere and to entertain them further the husband turned their chatterings into a full fledged 54 second song.

So using that song and pictures of the wee girls I made my video ...

And if I win the booty?  The wee girls get a third each and the rest will be spent on taking my husband out to dinner to thank him for helping me record and edit the film (which will mean I'll end up being further out of pocket cause MAN that man can eat!!)

So anyway, check it out!!

Friday, March 11, 2011

Hot for Gingernuts!

On my recent trip to Wellington Air New Zealand offered a choice of chips, lollies or a gingernut biscuit as an inflight snack.

Overwhelmed by a moment of nostalgia I chose the gingernut.  And when dunked in my cup of tea it was absolutely divine.

After arriving back home in Auckland I sought out a gingernut recipe online and decided to give backing these spicy wee gems a go.

These are the results:

The husband has already started to sniff around them looking for a munch and crunch ... I think I better find a baseball bat ...

Monday, March 7, 2011

3 Nights, 3 Hotels.

After far too long I recently took a trip to what I consider to be the most stylish city in New Zealand, Wellington.

Late at night the husband and I arrived at our first destination The Intercontinental where we planned to spend two nights, only to be told.

"I'm sorry we've no room for you.  We've overbooked."

I haven't thrown a tantrum since I was 16 or so, but my blood did begin to boil until they said ...

"We've booked you into another hotel for the night, The Holiday Inn."

Cue more blood boiling as I imagined some three star bed bug filled pit.

"We'll pay for the accommodation, breakfast tomorrow and taxis to get you to and from, you can come back here tomorrow and we'll give you a $139 room credit."

Blood doesn't stop boiling ... but as there wasn't much we could do we went along with their plans and took a taxi to The Holiday Inn ... all of a five minute walk away if that.  And what a gorgeous hotel The Holiday Inn was.  (Cue the cooling of the blood)  Beautifully presented, comfortable bed, spacious bathroom (with a mirror that doesn't fog up!) and really nice complimentary shampoo/conditioner/body wash/lotion/sewing kit/vanity kit.  I was happy as a pig in mud.

Photo not taken at hotel, does not show full range of fabulousness.

The next day we checked out and headed back to the Intercontinental who had a room ready for us by 10am - bless their cotton socks.  Once again I investigated the complimentary items - once again very nice but with extras like a nail file and cuticle thingymabob and this soft cloth which I assume is for cleaning glasses, well that's what I'm using it for!  The room was nice, although a touch retro and the staff were absolutely lovely as was the using of the room credit (cue slightly tipsy wife).
Intercontinental goodness

On the last morning we packed up and moseyed along the waterfront to our final destination The Copthorne Oriental Bay.  Once again we checked in early asking to leave our bags behind and once again they already had our room ready so we could go up early - yay!  Out of all the complimentary freebies there's were more generic with 'conditioning shampoo' which just doesn't work on my semi-curly hair.  However the inroom TV was top notch and the bar area was the best of all with views of the harbour and sun streaming in.  The perfect place to consume a wine or two while reading a book.

What started as a 'are you kidding me, where's my can of whoop ass' moment became three wonderful days discovering three excellent hotels in New Zealand's capital city.  All three with superb facilities, superior service and within walking difference of my beloved Cuba Corner.  ... my only regret?  Not taking the Intercontinental rubber ducky which I think might have been complimentary - I love me some rubber ducky goodness!!!

Friday, March 4, 2011

Feijoa Frenzy!

I love this time of year!
I love the fruit!
Nectarines and apricots and peaches are nice but there's that pesky stone to deal with.
I prefer easy peel satsuma mandarins, tangy tamarillos and feijoas.

And this year the feijoas are fat!  Fatter than I've ever seen them before.  They're nearly twice the size of an egg. And the moment they choose to fall from the tree onto the ground below I am going to be there, teaspoon in hand, ready to gorge myself.

Come to me my pretties!!!