The joy of a newborn is the middle of the night feedings.
Mine take place at around 2 and 5am.
And for whatever reason I struggle to get back to sleep after the 2am one.
My mind goes 'Hey! You're awake! Excellent! Let's think about stuff and things!'
Sometimes it's mundane ... 'what do we need to buy in the online grocery shop? ... olive oil, flour, eggs, chocolate ... bananas would be good, but not if they come too yellow. Yellow bananas are awful. Yuck. Oooh, chips are good too. And chocolate. Hold on, you're meant to be eating healthy food in order to nurture your baby. So add some spinach in there. But get lollies too. Don't forget the chocolate'.
Sometimes I hark back to torturous times past 'remember when you said that to so-and-so? God you were a cow. How can anyone like you? Sure you were 16 and you've improved as a person since then but really, what a cow. And what about when you got drunk and said/did that? How embarrassing. You really should be ashamed of yourself. Yes it was 10 years ago, but really, you ought to have known better'.
Then one night after putting my beautiful (yes I'm totally biased) daughter to bed where she drifted back off to sleep as I gazed at her adoringly (when I should have been drifting off to sleep myself) my brain came up with this gem "Oh gosh, she's lovely. She's growing up so fast though. It won't be long before she no longer wants to nuzzle into your neck when she needs comforting. She won't find your silly dances and songs funny. And she'll discover that Daddy is heaps more fun then mummy. You'll just have to make another one won't you? What a great idea! Another wee baby. What will you call it? Now if it's a boy you've got the name all sorted since you didn't get to use it this time. But what if you have another wee girl? What will you call her. You should still honour your side of the family. How about Henrietta Hailes? Hmmm, maybe not Henrietta, but it would be nice for you to acknowledge both your grandads. You could shorten it to Etta. And you walked up the aisle to Etta James' At Last. So that'd be nice too. Etta Hailes as the first and middle name. Perfect. Excellent. So when are you going to make the next baby?' Then sanity grips. 'What! Hold on!?! Back the truck up! I still remember the pain of childbirth! Sorry hypnobirthing book but you were wrong, it HURT. No babies. Not now. Not for a long time. Not until I forget the flippin' pain of having the first one. What are you on?? Oh my giddy...'
And there goes the 5am wake up call. Lucky I'm awake.